Have you seen this cutting board from Totally Bamboo? What stoner came up with that?
"It's like a chunk of tree, but it's made from bamboo. And the tree rings will be made of really tiny animals. And we can call it like, the tree of life, cause it'll remind people of like animals and life and the earth and stuff."
Totally!
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Saturday Day Fever
- I don't usually care too much if people have bad hair, but today there was this woman who had butt length hair and it was nasty: parched, scraggly, and faded to the same color as her elbows. It was beyond dead. I actually had this fantasy vision of me running up behind her with scissors and hacking off 8-10 inches of gnarly hair and then she turns into a Pantene commercial. But in actuality, she looked around with her old boyfriend and then left.
- On Saturdays, the store really gets poked and prodded. Saturday is family day and people who never go shopping come shopping. They touch EVERYTHING and they don't put anything back where they picked it up, even if it is a distance of 6 inches. They eat in the store like they are at their table and gulp down our complimentary coffee, sprinkling all surfaces with sugar and being hush about spills. They lounge in the sofas while they make out or talk on the phone. They rub their greasy heads onto pillows, their greasy necks on scarves and their dusty feet on any mat that is near the floor. This is a day when Floor Models are made because the merchandise gets the most action of its life.
- There is a lady I hate. Well, not hate, but am deeply annoyed by. I have had encounters with her at numerous places and she gets under my skin every time. I was walking the floor and caught sight of some adorable shoes out the window. I skipped over to get a better look and saw that the shoes I loved were being worn by the woman I sorta hate. So I think I have to sort of hate those shoes now. What a bummer.
- Parents, I acknowledge that it is a lot of work keeping an eye on children, but letting them destroy merchandise is not cool. Your baby chewed on a book because you were too lazy to get up and grab him. No one is going to want to buy that book now. It is not harmless gnawing.
- Sample food is gross.
- On Saturdays, the store really gets poked and prodded. Saturday is family day and people who never go shopping come shopping. They touch EVERYTHING and they don't put anything back where they picked it up, even if it is a distance of 6 inches. They eat in the store like they are at their table and gulp down our complimentary coffee, sprinkling all surfaces with sugar and being hush about spills. They lounge in the sofas while they make out or talk on the phone. They rub their greasy heads onto pillows, their greasy necks on scarves and their dusty feet on any mat that is near the floor. This is a day when Floor Models are made because the merchandise gets the most action of its life.
- There is a lady I hate. Well, not hate, but am deeply annoyed by. I have had encounters with her at numerous places and she gets under my skin every time. I was walking the floor and caught sight of some adorable shoes out the window. I skipped over to get a better look and saw that the shoes I loved were being worn by the woman I sorta hate. So I think I have to sort of hate those shoes now. What a bummer.
- Parents, I acknowledge that it is a lot of work keeping an eye on children, but letting them destroy merchandise is not cool. Your baby chewed on a book because you were too lazy to get up and grab him. No one is going to want to buy that book now. It is not harmless gnawing.
- Sample food is gross.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
not yet
Lately I've been going through my notes that I make to myself and it is all things I've thought and written about before, at least once and maybe more. It made me wonder, "HAVE I SEEN IT ALL?" But as I am still able to be horrified or delighted by people's behavior in my store, I remember that the repetition is part of the craziness of it all. And it is impossible to see it all since I am not God or the Internet.
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