Tuesday, May 18, 2010

This week in retail

-The college students that made us part of there sociolinguistics experiment. It was my least favorite kind of conversation. The guy asked us for a product and then let us ramble on. We did ramble because he wasn't speaking, just looking at us like he wanted answers. Very awkward. In a conversation, both people talk. We didn't know we were part of an experiment until after.

-I was coming back from lunch one day and saw a customer leaving the store. As she walked, she was frantically scraping away the price tag from a card she had just bought. I still do not understand why people freak out so much about price tags on cards. Everyone knows how much cards cost. People do not keep cards forever; after the card has served its purpose, it is thrown out.

-The theme of the week was lovely, stunning women with ugly, fat hairy men.

-Parents running through the store after their toddlers, yelling at them: "Malcom, don't touch that. Malcom, mommy said come here. Malcom, no touching." "Avery Jane, do you have to poop? Avery Jane, mommy and daddy are leaving now. Avery Jane, come here."

-Yet again, I had to explain to a person that you can indeed break glass and you don't get a refund when it happens. I really despise people that think they can make up a warranty. Just because a drinking glass was expensive doesn't mean you get free replacements for life every time you drop one on your tile floor. I mean, tough shit. If you can't afford to lose it, maybe you shouldn't buy it.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Weekly Highlights

-There was this adorable mother and daughter shopping together. They would look at items and then mention someone they know that would enjoy that item. What made this different and hilarious is that all of their people had nicknamey names. Like, "Wouldn't Buffy love one of these floral print insulated lunch bags?" And "Peanut would really get a kick out of the bacon floss." It made me want to use more nicknames.

- After I rang a woman up on Saturday, she held up the line while she looked over her receipt. "I just want to make sure you did everything right," she said. I always tell people it's great to look at their receipts immediately because if there are mistakes, it's easier to fix them (it was kind of dick of her to hold up the line, though). "At the last store I was at, the clerk overcharged me." So of course I probably did too. "The clerk caught it though. Apparently something rang up wrong." AH, so the clerk didn't overcharge you; rather, she caught a mistake that was not her fault and saved you from an overcharge. But because retail is entry level work, the people working it must be stupid and none of them should be trusted.

-Yesterday there was this middle aged couple arguing over which ceramic birds to buy as a gift for a friend. They spent 20 minutes picking out the ones with the best expression and head tilt. Then they didn't want to pay for the $2 gift wrap (the friend must not be that special; I wrapped them in tissue and put them in a t-shirt bag) and kept asking me if they could get a gift receipt. Maybe I am a jerky Scrooge, but if it is that hard to pick out a gift for someone and you don't even know if they will like it at all and must give a gift receipt, maybe they don't need a gift. Or maybe you should just give them cash. I want to start a revolution. There is no shame in a gift card. This is the future.

-A different couple yesterday was looking at knives. "I'm confused by your signs. You have them listed in centimeters here, but not in the display case." It was obvious that she wanted to show off her knowledge of the metric system. It was a big fail though. Faking that you don't understand imperial measurements makes you look stupid. Also, look at the fucking knives. Which one looks like it's 9 centimeters? And that particular one was a completely different shape from all the other knives in the case. Match the picture to the item. You know a centimeter; imagine 9 of them.

-And my favorite. A woman called asking if we had a scentless room deodorizer. Her problem was that the bathroom at her work has no ventilation, and when people stink it up (my words, not hers), other co-workers complain about it. But when she puts in odor masking aids, the co-workers complain that the "fake perfumey" smells bother their allergies. I told her about the wildly popular spray and crystals we sell, but mentioned that they DO still have a scent and that even though they are quite pleasant and natural, they are still a scent. I wanted to tell her that maybe she should tell her sensitive yet complaining co-workers that they will just have to wallow in each others' shit clouds. But I didn't. But I think she should.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Monday, May 3, 2010

Showing off the quick release foam

Yesterday it was raining hard when we were bringing in the outdoor furniture. We had to tilt the cushions up so the water could drain out of the quick release foam.

It looks like rain again today.