Monday, November 22, 2010

we were supposed to be a team

I am always caught off guard and horrified when fellow small business owners (just want to say right now, I am not a business owner, but I work for one and we know a lot of them, we are like a town family) act TOTALLY SHITTY in my store. I do not understand how they can feel comfortable coming in and being the worst customer in the world. Do they not recognize me? I was the sweet, patient girl that was in their store last week. But they can come into my store and be a shit?? Asking for ridiculous undoable favors? The crappy thing is that I told them I would ask for permission for these crappy things they wanted and that wasn't good enough for them. It seems they just wanted to be pissed and took it out on me. AWESOME. I know they are human, blahblahblah. Shut the fuck up. I know who you are ASSHOLE. And I will never go into your shop again because your shit isn't that great and you are a jerk to me when you ought to be kissing my young hot ass so that i talk your stupid shop up to all my hot young friends.

Again, I say here what I can't say at work. I can't truly hatevent about this jerkwad at my life because there could be retaliation or harmful gossip. I DON'T KNOW. Except you suck. And maybe retail Jebus wouldn't approve, but I won't forgive you.

look what i got in the mail today!

I got this in the mail today. Finally. I've been wanting to read it forever. I haven't even cracked it, but I am excited. How can it be exciting to read about a life similar to your own, if it even is that way? To know that you are not alone. And your store is not alone. And your country is not alone. And everyone on planet earth might just be turds to their clerks. So it's not me, it is the HUMAN WAY. But I have to read the book first . . .

Sunday, November 14, 2010


I was going to try and have a week when I wrote positive stories of the same caliber as my bad customer stories. The good thing for me, yet unfortunate for this blog, is that they are frequent. And VERY BORING. I don't even know how to write about such great transactions. There are no burrs. They don't stick to me.

There were ALOT of annoying situations today. I feel, somehow, like watching for good ones made the bad ones occur. Really classic stupid shit.

OH WAIT! I have it! My positive thought. SO, there was this couple that was driving from far away and they had an exchange and wanted to make a purchase. They called and told me they'd been in traffic. They told me what they wanted to buy so that we could gather it up. When they sailed in at 1 minute to closing, we were ready for them. The transaction, though it went past closing, was positive and smooth. I did not resent them because they called ahead and they were were very polite and quick while they were in the store after closing. We all got what we wanted.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Opposite week (Positive week) Part 1

Here's the first of many feel good stories to prove that I am not always a hateful, toiling clerk with a chip on her shoulder or a goblin in her apron pocket.

There is this woman that has come into the store as long as I have work there (years) and probably long before that. She stuck in my mind because she 1) is always nicely dressed. Like, age appropriate AND stylish. The sort of older woman you see and think "that's what I want to be when I grow up." 2) she has these amazing eyes and always wears this bold, colorful lipstick. This sort of ties into the clothing part, but it is different because she is Working What She's Got and that's always hot. AND 3) she is always unfailingly polite, courteous, and respectful. It freaked me out at first. "Why is this woman so . . . neighborly?? And in a good way?"

She comes in often and makes small purchases. Do I treat her any differently because she buys little things instead of big ticket items? Hell no. She comes in 100 times as much as someone that buys a piece of furniture. And there is her good attitude. A smart clerk will always appreciate a good attitude.

I quickly learned her name and after awhile called her by it. "Good morning, (let's call her) Maxine!" And I was genuinely glad to see her. She was a little freaked out that I knew her name, but instead of treating me like a psychopath, she learned MY NAME (because I do have one) and now we talk to each other like real grown ups. Even when I see her out of my work, I say hi to her and she to me because we have made that human connection. We are part of each other's lives and we do not pretend that the other does not matter or exist.

Clerks, I recommend this, even for regular problem customers. Those regulars that are little pills will appreciate you getting to know them and will become more malleable. (I had to throw in a little evil!! BWAH HA HA HA!)

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

it's my blog and i'll bitch if i want to

The increased attention to this blog from the Reader's Digest bit has sort of freaked me out. I've been rereading some of my older posts, sort of checking in the mirror for spinach in my teeth. What I've discovered is that my view of my job has changed, though it's probably imperceptible to anyone else.

There was a time when I planned to flee my job and my life. When my plans fell through, I took comfort in work. I have become more invested in every aspect of the store. I truly care!

Most of my posts are bitchfests because those are the frustrating and more amazing interactions. But know that for every crappy experience I describe, there is a great one that gives me pride in my work. I don't usually write about those because they are what SHOULD happen.

Maybe I will have an Opposite Week. I will only write about the good.

I, um, love glitter

In the retail world, the holidays are in full swing! There are trees, ornaments, candles, sweets, and Christmas music. There is so much glitter everywhere that you slip in little pools of it. I go home at night covered it the stuff, and you know what? I love it. It's only bad when it gets in your eyes.

Friday, November 5, 2010

today i am in hate with life time warranties

When an expensive pan boasts a Lifetime Warranty, it is considered a selling point. But the LTW can also be a major pain in the ass, like when an angry father comes in with his 15 year old LTW pan that he didn't even buy at your store and demands a new one just because your store is a vendor of the pans and it HAS A LifeTime Warranty!!!

Yea. I had this happen today. But I stood my ground and read the Return Policy and manufacturer's LTW rules. Like, the customer has to call the company. This did not make Daddy happy. He whipped out his fancy ass phone and called them, then got pissed that it was 8pm in the Eastern U.S. When I repeated the rules, he told me how "it didn't used to be that way!! You used to just be about to walk into a dealer and return your pan!!" Which made me think 1. hmm, this is not the first time he's done this, and 2. duh. that is why they have changed their return policy. And, Daddio, policies fucking change. Maybe your 15 year old pan does have a lifetime warranty, but they can change the way you go about "refreshing" your pan.

I've seen your type before. Take some buyer's responsibility. Oh, and did I mention that he actually called his mother in front of me? Because the pan was a gift from her? And, mocking me, asked if she had the receipts from 1995 just because I asked if he had his receipt?

Go to hell, pops. And take your Lifetime Warranty with you.