Thursday, November 24, 2011

Open Thanksgiving

When it comes to stores being open on holidays, I'm always expecting it.  Though it often seems wrong (Labor Day?), it is now part of how that day is observed.  Those that don't have to work are not so pious as to sit at home all day and contemplate what the holiday means*.  Love it or hate it, shopping is a pass time.

As someone who works in a store that is sustained mostly through 4th quarter sales, I don't want to piss off shoppers.  I love them!  But I do shed a tear for the holiday, one day when you CANNOT work.  I do not work today, but I have friends that do.  And it feels like it is only a matter of time before my store follows this pattern.

Fellow retail compatriots, I wish strength and patience for you today.  When your skin crawls as you look out over the lines and teaming masses of electronics and sweater seekers, sooth yourself with the thought that you are an essential service!  You are like the police, hospitals, airports, Denny's by the airports (and movie theaters and grocery stores).  Your public needs you!

*I know there are a lot of feelings on Thanksgiving.  However it came to be and whether we like it or not, it exists.  Personally, I have always oscillated between love and hate.  Some years I am disgusted by the gluttony and waste.  Others years I love it and try to enjoy it in a simplistic, primal way:  being thankful for what I have.  Food, shelter, water, and love should not be taken for granted.  


Saturday, November 12, 2011

EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA

This is a disgusting confession, but I really want to tell it.  Today I ran off the sales floor, flat out disappeared, because I thought I was going to shit my pants.  Without going into detail, I will tell you that this is extremely unusual; most foods and situations, regardless of size or spice, pass through me like a big calm.

I was secretly humiliated.  How, HOW are we at such mercy to our bowels?  I could not even call for back up, such was my urgency.  And the whole time I kept thinking "does someone need help finding a rug at this moment?  If they miss me, can I claim 'sickness'?"

Next time you can't find sales staff as quickly as you'd like, remember this story.  They might be off attending to an issue beyond their control.  Don't forget to wash your hands!