Monday, April 27, 2009

Highlights from a week of boring

- Buying a new "rustic," "distressed" table is the same as buying $172 cut off shorts. But who has time to destroy their own items anymore?

- An older woman came in looking for a 2 piece meat loaf pan. Apparently we used to carry it and "it is the best thing" for meatloaf because the "fat can drain." Eww. The rest of the day I had the worst mental picture of a big greazy meatloaf with a caked on ketchup topping.

- The satellite muzak that we have to play in the store changes the order of their stations every now and then. So just when we found a station that we could play without completely losing our minds or getting reprimanded, the channel numbers switched. What was Big Band and Swing is now New Age. We found another channel that plays Big Band and Swing in the morning and late afternoon, but the middle of the day is full of Adult Contemporary and these horrible, grating, slow, harmonizing renditions of well-known songs. Yesterday most of the employees had a simultaneous freak-out and changed the music to the Rumba and Salsa channel. And for one afternoon, we lived.

- A woman came in and asked to see our popsicle molds. We don't have any yet, but that didn't stop her from quizzing me on what they might be like when we get them. I described the ones we had last year and she became upset because they are not what she wants. "Don't you just have the regular popsicle shape, but in an adult size?!" My question is this: what makes a popsicle adult sized?

- We sell these birdhouses that are shaped like little camper trailers. They are decorated and painted and people love them. I hate them so much. I want to set the whole stack on fire. I will be helping a customer and thinking "hmm. she's sort of cool," but then they buy a birdhouse camper and I lose respect for them.

- It is inevitable that the store will fill up with people 15 minutes before we close.

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