Sunday, August 28, 2011

High Times and Low Lives part 1

A new series at Blame the Clerk in which I will highlight the best and worst part of my day, best being the "high time" and worst labeled under "low lives" (which implies that a person will be the cause of the worst part of my day, presumptuous, but sadly will probably be true). 

Today.

High:  catching a dragonfly in a cheese dome!  The dinosaur bug flew through an open door and was batting itself against the lights.  Miraculously, it landed in a spot I could reach it and let my corral it into the dome.  It was a lovely specimen.  I took it around and showed it to everyone before I let it go.  Customers and staff were equally wowed.

Low:  The couple that brought back a glass candle holder because it broke.  After they'd had it over a year.  When they received it as a gift.   SURE, they were "nice" and didn't throw a fit and demand to be compensated for their tragic loss, but they DID bring it in.  Deep down they were hoping and expecting that we would replace it.  Some people will read this and howl on about customer service and standing by our products blahblahblah.  The fact is that it was a cheap piece of glass without a warranty and they'd had and used it quite a while before it broke.  GLASS FUCKING BREAKS.  If you are the sort of person that is surprised by this, you should not own glass (or anything, really).  And just because you get a piece of glass from a Nice Store doesn't mean that it will last forever and they are obligated to forever keep you in glass when you break your glass vessel every few years.  Seriously couple with the broken glass?  You have so much time and energy you can spend the better part of a weekend day fucking around at a store about your broken glass vase?  You are actually going to make me say to you "well, unfortunately, glass can break."?  Yea.  Your vase broke.  That sucks.  Get a new fucking vase.


I could rant on about this for a long time.  Maybe the vase was a gift from a recently departed friend or relative.  That would be sad, but it is just a fucking vase.  Replacing a vase would not replace the person (we did not, by the way, have the vase any more so I couldn't have replaced it even if I wanted).  Maybe they both lost their jobs and are now SUPER poor and can't afford another vase.  Go to a thrift store, hit up a yard sale, tell everyone you know that you need a new vase.  This isn't even a realistic scenario because someone that is too poor to replace their vase sure as hell can't afford to buy candles (the vase was being used as a candle holder/burner).  Maybe you really do understand that glass can break but someone encouraged you to "ask anyway.  never hurts to ask."  Which is sort of true, but come on!  That thought and action is way overused, to the point that I am get embarrassed for people.  Like right now.

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