On Christmas Eve Eve, someone (a customer) attempted to steal an expensive kitchen appliance. They had separated the pieces and hidden the valuable parts. We found the hidden parts and were relieved that they didn't get away with it.
Then, on New Year's Eve Eve, someone stole a more expensive version of the same appliance, even though we took precautions and tried to make it difficult by stapling them down. This time, we have not found the missing unit, which makes us suspect that it was the same person, this time determined to get it.
Thievery really pisses me off. We are not a big corporation. We are doing well enough to stay in business and try another year. It feels like a personal attack. But catching shoplifters is hard! They are sneaky motherfuckers.
Thieves, I hate you. You make my work life unnecessarily difficult. If I had three wishes*, one wish would be to know your identity. Then I could find out about you and make YOUR life difficult because you fucking deserve it.
*ok, maybe I wouldn't REALLY want to waste one of these precious hypothetical wishes on you because you are a fucking jackass and I have so many better things to think about. But I am terribly curious. TERRIBLY.
Showing posts with label appliances. Show all posts
Showing posts with label appliances. Show all posts
Monday, January 2, 2012
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Saturdays
-I've said this before, but it is another one of those human mysteries that will disgust and baffle me until the end of my life: people will lay their garbage anywhere. Coffee cups, wrappers, old food: regardless of the store they are visiting or how close a trash bin is located, when they are done with whatever is in their hands, they just set it down. Or throw it into a trash receptacle shaped object; basket on the floor that is tall and cylindrical (and full of pristine, nicely folded merchandise)? Toss that shit in!
-My latest piece of merchandise that I judge people by? The faucet soap dish. I'm sorry. I just don't get it. And when I hear someone going on and on about how cute it is, I am bewildered.
-It's sort of spring time, I GUESS, but the winter scarf and flip-flop combo doesn't look very much fun. You know those are the people who drive.
-I was helping this man who was, um, not white select a food processor. Then we went to the cash register so he could make his purchase. There were some details that made the transaction a little longer than most, but the annoying thing was that these middle class white old broads kept interrupting! Like, while I was TALKING to the man, they start asking me questions. I told them I would be happy to help as soon as I was finished helping my first customer. Then when he was paying, they stood there watching with annoyance. Bitches! You're not that great and I bet your meatloaf sucks.
-My latest piece of merchandise that I judge people by? The faucet soap dish. I'm sorry. I just don't get it. And when I hear someone going on and on about how cute it is, I am bewildered.
-It's sort of spring time, I GUESS, but the winter scarf and flip-flop combo doesn't look very much fun. You know those are the people who drive.
-I was helping this man who was, um, not white select a food processor. Then we went to the cash register so he could make his purchase. There were some details that made the transaction a little longer than most, but the annoying thing was that these middle class white old broads kept interrupting! Like, while I was TALKING to the man, they start asking me questions. I told them I would be happy to help as soon as I was finished helping my first customer. Then when he was paying, they stood there watching with annoyance. Bitches! You're not that great and I bet your meatloaf sucks.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Cut the cord
Yesterday I was helping this elderly woman find a rice cooker. Everyone always thinks they need a huge rice cooker and it drives me crazy. The rice cooker we carry is for 4 cups of pre-cooked rice. When I was working at a lunch restaurant in Hawaii, I would not have called that a lot of rice, but now, here, looking at appliances for single, elderly women, I can say that is a lot of rice.
Eventually I shut up about the size because her statements about the best capacity for a rice cooker were moot. We moved onto features! "So how does this work?" she asked. "Well," I said, beautifully camouflaging my disdain for having to explain the simple steps of adding rice, water, and pushing a button, "You add the rice, the water, place the lid on top, and push the button. If the appliance is plugged in, a light will come on and another light will indicate when the rice is finished." "What about chicken?" she asked. "Does it tell how to steam chicken in the recipe book?"
Ah, yes. The recipe book! Most of the appliances come with a "recipe book" which is merely an addendum to the instructions, but the perceived value to the customer is huge! I don't know how many times the "recipe book" has been the factor in closing a sale. No matter that it is 1 millimeter thick and is probably going to be lost as soon as the customer opens the box; the recipe book has all the recipes and secrets for simplifying your life! With the appliance, some basic ingredients, and the recipe book, you will finally be able to serve simple home-cooked meals that will wow your family and friends! Thanks to the recipe book you can finally make Curry Rice & Chicken, Asparagus & Sesame Rice, and Balsamic Vinaigrette! Kitchen mysteries will be revealed in the recipe book!
All in all, it is a happy tale. We made a sale and the customer will go home and hopefully have success with her steamed chicken and huge quantities of rice.
Eventually I shut up about the size because her statements about the best capacity for a rice cooker were moot. We moved onto features! "So how does this work?" she asked. "Well," I said, beautifully camouflaging my disdain for having to explain the simple steps of adding rice, water, and pushing a button, "You add the rice, the water, place the lid on top, and push the button. If the appliance is plugged in, a light will come on and another light will indicate when the rice is finished." "What about chicken?" she asked. "Does it tell how to steam chicken in the recipe book?"
Ah, yes. The recipe book! Most of the appliances come with a "recipe book" which is merely an addendum to the instructions, but the perceived value to the customer is huge! I don't know how many times the "recipe book" has been the factor in closing a sale. No matter that it is 1 millimeter thick and is probably going to be lost as soon as the customer opens the box; the recipe book has all the recipes and secrets for simplifying your life! With the appliance, some basic ingredients, and the recipe book, you will finally be able to serve simple home-cooked meals that will wow your family and friends! Thanks to the recipe book you can finally make Curry Rice & Chicken, Asparagus & Sesame Rice, and Balsamic Vinaigrette! Kitchen mysteries will be revealed in the recipe book!
All in all, it is a happy tale. We made a sale and the customer will go home and hopefully have success with her steamed chicken and huge quantities of rice.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Wedding registries
Yesterday I had a customer that was looking for a wedding gift. We do wedding registries at our store, so this sort of shopping is a daily occurrence. In this instance though, the customer had a registry from another store.
She was looking for some dumb appliance that was on the registry, like a coffee griddle rotisserie chicken maker, and was perturbed that we didn't have it. First, I had to gingerly deduce whether or not she was knew that she was not at Crate & Barrel (where the registry was from). And I had to explain that we might have similar items, but not all the exact same items. I gave her some ideas and off she went.
While I am proud and thankful that she chose to "shop local" and support our store, I have a feeling that we may get those items back, making all of her effort and mine a big waste of time. She is not getting the couple the exact items they want and since she is buying them elsewhere, they are not being taken off the registry. There is a very good chance that the couple will get multiples of those items and bring ours back because they not the right ones.
We will see.
She was looking for some dumb appliance that was on the registry, like a coffee griddle rotisserie chicken maker, and was perturbed that we didn't have it. First, I had to gingerly deduce whether or not she was knew that she was not at Crate & Barrel (where the registry was from). And I had to explain that we might have similar items, but not all the exact same items. I gave her some ideas and off she went.
While I am proud and thankful that she chose to "shop local" and support our store, I have a feeling that we may get those items back, making all of her effort and mine a big waste of time. She is not getting the couple the exact items they want and since she is buying them elsewhere, they are not being taken off the registry. There is a very good chance that the couple will get multiples of those items and bring ours back because they not the right ones.
We will see.
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