tales from the other side (of the counter)

I was at one of those stores that buys used clothes for cash or trade.  I had one modest bag of shoes that I was pretty confident they would accept.  There was quite the line-up when I arrived.  Sometimes when this happens, I shop and then go back to the line; this time around, I didn't want to take the chance that someone would come in with a bunch of stuff and take what could have been my place.

There was one guy with a garbage bag of clothes at the counter, a girl with a small bag behind him, followed by two college kids with paper shopping bags which did not appear to be holding much because there was no bulge.  Then there was me, playing Tetris on my phone.

The girls working got through the garbage bag of clothes, at which point they start going through another of his garbage bags.  Dude had 5 garbage bags of clothes.  FIVE.   I am repeating "garbage bags" for a reason; his clothes sucked.  I overheard him saying how his wife had cleaned out the closet and these were all the clothes.  They didn't bother to sort them at all, which I think is rude.  Do you actually think anyone is going to want to buy your gross, worn out, outdated clothing?  One of the girls actually made a yuk face when she grabbed a pile of dingy cropped camisoles.  I could see the old skin and sweat from my place in line.

The college boys left when the multiple garbage bags were revealed.  Yes!  I moved up a level.

While I was in line, another guy came in and took his place behind me.  He had EIGHT garbage bags.  I love having my choices validated.

Oh fuck it. I'm happy.

I got paid today so I decided to take myself out for lunch at one of my favorite places.  I recently met the girl that was working and we chatted a little about our respective jobs.  She asked me if I liked my job and I said, honestly, "I do.  I probably shouldn't, but I do" and then gave three reasons why.

So often I feel guilty about liking my job.  I feel I am supposed to be aspiring to be something "better," better being something with more money, prestige, responsibility.  Somehow I am losing by being content. 

There are a lot of things I could use that my job doesn't provide, but I don't know if it would necessarily be an improvement.  Sure, I could use more money, but more money isn't going to solve any unhealthy relationships I have with it.  Health insurance would be nice, but I'm not even going to get into that.  I used to think that my job didn't provide me with enough respect, but I am finding that respect can be gained and propagated by giving it to myself.

There are only so many days I have and I don't want to spend them being unhappy and thinking I will have this magic perfect life someday.  My life is pretty fucking great and I'm thankful.  Fellow clerks:  when you are feeling sad or down, think of the good things in your life.  Don't let stress and sorrow kill you.  Be a little fucking pollyanna ray of sunshine and at least a couple of fools will appreciate and smile with you.  And the grouchy judgey assholes can flip off.

a collective "fuck that shit"

I know your grandparents are mad at me. I don't count back change. I see what the computer tells me to give, mentally assure myself that it's right, and hand it to the customer in an orderly fashion. I do count the bills so we all see that I did give you three $20 bills and not two, but I don't do that whole counting forwards bullshit. That was the past, in a cold dark time before machines did math for me.

I am not alone. I don't remember the last time someone counted back my change and I am thrilled because, if no one else is doing it, I'm not going to feel guilty.

High five, my fellow clerks! Old lady at Target, kids at the drugstore, volunteers at my thrift stores, and self check out at the grocery store! One less oppressive chore!

weekly highlights

-Sometimes customers come in looking for a very specific item that they are going to use in a different application other than cooking or baking. I drag this info from them with the question "what are you using it for?" When they tell me and I have a good suggestion of another place they might look for the tool they are describing, they often like to dismiss it as though I am incapable of having good ideas. And I say "thank you!"

-Yesterday I greeted a woman, but she must not have realized I worked at the store. She walked up to the counter and, peering around behind it, said "Ding-a-ling, ding-a-ling!". (impersonating a bell to get a clerk's attention). Then she asked me a weird, crazy question that is not important and has no real answer.

-A customer returned flatware because she had problems with the stickers. I empathized with her sticker problem and then attempted to offer solutions. After working all day with the damn stickers, I know a trick or two. Before I could finish that sentence, she cut me off and told me this laborious process that she tried and that she is right and she hates stickers.

First world problems!

squeeze and thank-yous

Yesterday my co-worker told me how she finished ringing up a customer and then handed them the receipt and said, "there you go! You're all set!" and the woman stood staring at her. My co-worker was a little weirded out and tried some other cheerful phrases to indicate that the transaction was over and the woman could step away from the counter. But she kept standing there, staring.

"Was she drunk?" I asked my co-worker.

Then the customer said "I'm waiting for my thank-you" at which point my co-worker said "oh yes, thank you."

This particular co-worker is one of the sweetest, most pleasant and gracious co-workers ever. She exudes cheerfulness and genuine care. So to have some grump force a thank you that she didn't purposefully with hold is pretty insulting. Sure, a thank you was in order, but by being a jerk about it, the meaning was lost.

Take your fucking thank you, collect them like bazooka joe bubblegum wrappers, send in for the prize, and be disappointed when you realize it was all an illusion of hope and delayed pleasure.

shop local vs. the internet

Today I had a customer tell me about how she found a certain big ticket item online for half the price of what we sell it. She was not looking for a price match, but rather, an explanation as to why some website could sell it for that price and we could not.

I told her all the scenarios that I could think of that could possibly cause that: how our price includes shipping and freight, how the online retailer might have more bulk buying power, that it could be a clearance price. I really stressed that before she buy the item, she find out the shipping cost, especially when she said that there definitely was not free shipping. I encouraged her to find out how much assembly the piece would require and the level of difficulty.

As sweet as she was about the whole thing, and as much as I appreciate her honest questions, I was also slightly perturbed. When you shop in a store, you get to talk to a human and probably to their face. I know this can be a bad experience, depending on a lot of factors, but I think a lot of sales staff is actually going to do their job: answer questions, give opinions when needed, assist the customer with making the right choice. If you are shopping in a store where this happens, you should keep shopping there (when necessary of course) and count your blessings for a helpful clerk.

(I know this post sounds boastful, but, damn!)

Always and Forever

Last night I was at a little party at my friend's house. There was a girl there that had just quit her crappy job at a deli. She was full of food service horror stories, which in my experience are always more demeaning than retail stories because hungry people are scarier. I laughed and shook my head with each recount of mocha making, soup questions, and sprout mix-ups.

I have heard all of it before. I have lived it. I have told those stories. They still amaze and amuse me because customers never change. And delis never get smart and treat employees well, forever turning what seems to be a simple job into an exhausting, humiliating experience that traumatizes the young folk that are milled through.

Is this how it always has been and always will be? I had a vistion of customer service life as a giant snail shell and I bisected it with my mind and can see the spiraling inward to invisibility and the pattern for the same growth outward and forever. And we are somewhere on that coil but we don't know where and it doesn't matter anyway because this is just supposed to be a temporary job and when we are grown ups with careers, we will be nice to the service folk. Right?!?

21 Whisk Salute

FOR ALL THE RETAIL HEROES!!

New Favorite

Here is my new favorite retail book. Well, it's not specifically about retail, but I have found it a useful tool when trying to sell people stuff that they want anyway. It is not manipulation; it is saying things in a pleasing manner and listening.

I borrowed it from my library on CD and it's amazing. I listen to a couple of chapters while I get dressed and I actually get pumped up to work.

I highly recommend this book to anyone that ever has to talk to other humans.

Dance.

I went to work yesterday chipper and with a positive attitude, though anxious because I had a lot of errands to run on my lunch break.

Two of the earliest customers were Canadian woman, friends, shopping together. They were dressed up for a day out and one of them was dancing as she shopped and singing along with the oldies music that we were playing. It reminded me of one of the model quotes in the Boden catalog I'd been looking through the night before. Something like, "if I could go back in time: I would dance more." And why not?, I thought as I watched the customer shimmy through the aisles. Dancing is fun, right? Ladies love to dance. Look at how the customer is having so much fun!

I rang up the dancing lady. While I was wrapping her glass jars in paper to cushion them, I felt spiritual and sisterly; why shouldn't we dance when we want to and be a little wacky? We have so little time in life. Why shouldn't I be happy for womankind when they can grab some moments of joy and dance and sing?

Then I realized I was still at work. It had become busy all of a sudden and I was by myself, so I helped people in the order I saw them appear. My co-worker came and helped me ring everyone up. Dancing lady was at the counter again. Her bags were on the counter in front of her.

We are not sisters, dancing lady and I; she is the customer and I am the clerk. So why should I be surprised when she too took on a bit of superior attitude when I asked if she needed anything else? Her response, though seemingly harmless, was terse and seemed to say "do not attempt to KNOW what I NEED, retail store worker."

I do not know if I over-analyse every word that comes out of customers' mouths or if I have become very good at reading people and detecting lies and fake emotions.

Probably both.

I can help the next person in line!

Ottoman

Today this young woman bought an ottoman. She asked for "help" carrying it out to her car, which ended up being me carrying the ottoman. It was actually very light.

The crappy thing was that she wouldn't let her boyfriend/husband help me when he asked if I needed help. And then he was okay with me carrying it. The three of us walked to their Lexus; me, the shortest and smallest, hauling the ottoman, the husband commenting on how it was weird to have someone else carry things, and the wife fumbling for her keys.

I don't mind helping people when they have injuries, but being the pack mule for 2 more than able bodied Americans is weird. Sac up you fucking jerks. You let a small girl clerk haul your ottoman. You are useless. We are all laughing and rolling eyes at you.

Movies About Retail (sort of)

I just finished watching Last Holiday. I remember seeing previews and thinking how lame it looked. Well, it was awesome. It was funny, touching, and had a positive message that was only a little sappy. The protagonists worked in a retail store and were not dumbass youngsters or dreamless dumps of human beings. And it has an ending that is happy, yet not completely unrealistic. This clerk gives it two thumbs up!

Clerks 2 Jerks

I wish someone would hurry up and translate and publish this book so I can read it. Trying to read the blog in a language I don't know is pitiful. All the humor and poignancy is lost. I was reading a couple of snippets and I had a thought. It amazes me how people EVERYWHERE are jerks to clerks. Almost everyone (except the occasional delusional freak) that has worked a service job will have similar horror stories of abuse, disrespect, and ingratitude. Why is it that we feel this is okay? And why does it still go on? When I am working it seems like maybe those people have never been in my position and that is why they act the way they do. I think I am wrong. While there are people that haven't worked a job like mine, there ALOT that have had similar or worse jobs. Do people forget? Do they feel that because their clerk days are behind them, it is their time to be the needy jerk?

Hmm. Ponder.

Stand up for your fellow clerks

I go to the post office a lot and I get tired of hearing other people in line complain. They show up, stand there for 30 seconds, and then start bitching. They bitch loudly, as though it were the fault of the postal clerk and not the crappy, unprepared lady with a weird package and form problems. Most days I just play Tetris on my phone and ignore them. But I am feeling spicy today. I am feeling like I may have the courage to throw a snarky comment at those crappy customers. I mail a lot of packages and I have never (knock on wood) had one lost. We have a reliable, relatively quick postal system in this country and I am willing to stand in line for that and to stand up for my fellow clerks.